Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wednesday at the track: Self-Talking

I did it! My first track work out without taping up my knee!
I was very pre-occupied with getting my daughter off to her summer camp - L'il Red has been accepted into the very prestigious PaperMill Playhouse Conservatory Program, a program once graced by the lovely Anne Hathaway -  and I forgot to tape up my knee.

I must admit, I was a bit nervous, but I figured, I'll take the 2mile warm-up slow and go from there. During the warm-up, I kept repeating to myself that I'd be okay, you know, self-talking!

Ever since I hurt my knee, I get this strange fear and anxiety that I will get injured during my track work outs and never be able to run again. In the past, I just had to deal with the regular anxiety:
Will I be able to run as fast as Coach says I should
Can I run 6:40 pace for 
400meters: Oh my ...head game time, palpitations and severe doubt.

I even opened up to my Coach - you know, like how psychologists are always saying that when you express your feelings, you feel better? Yeah 'cause announcing your fears actually releases you from them ...
But I did, I tried that tactic and I told my Coach: I'm afraid I'll get hurt. Maybe I should run home and get the tape?
Coach: No. You'll be fine.
Me: I can be back in 8minutesssss
Coach: No. You will be fine.
Me: You know, I get so nervous on track day. Scared and anxious, like I won't be able to run as fast as you say I should. (Self-talking: Ech. He's gonna think you're a basket case).
Coach: That's normal. A lot of people do. You will be fine. Now, c'mon, start your 100meter strides. Don't go all out ...take the first few slow and build up.
Me: Okay. 
More self-talking: 
It's normal, It's normal, these feelings are normal. 
You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. 
C'mon, girl, quit acting like a baby, pull yourself together and nail this workout!

Strides: Six 100meters, most between 20-21seconds. Not 18seconds, but I was still standing! I'll take it.
Ladder: 400meters@ 6:40. 200meters@ 6:50. 300meters@ 7:00 and 400meters@ 7:10. 

Not all 6:40 pace, 
but after hundreds of 'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this',
I was okay.
Actually, No.
I was better than okay because
I'm inspired by people who overcome their fears. Last week on the track, I met an incredible woman, let's call her Ms.Triple Dare. She opened up to me and told me her story of obesity, her relationship with food, past and present, and her current unbelievable relationship that she now has with running. After two knee surgeries, she decided to lose weight (100pounds!), train for a 5K and then, for a marathon!
Now, that's a triple dare, if ever I saw one! 
And so inspiring!

Sometimes fear can be a motivator, propelling us forward to places we never thought possible. Like with Ms.Triple Dare, she used her fear to propel her forward - fighting her fear of failing another go at losing weight, running after two knee surgeries and the possibility of not being able to finish a race or a goal she hoped to accomplish. 
Fighting fear is not easy.
It takes a lot of work and dedication.
It takes a lot of self-talking.
Ms. Triple Dare is not fearless, she just has the courage to keep trying.
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