Monday, January 14, 2013

Hairspray Man

I can't stand it!
He hasn't been to the gym in weeks, no, I think months.
Now, he's back.
I can smell him!
It's gross.
It's Hairspray Man!
I gotta get up enough nerve and tell him the dangers of spraying - God knows what - on his skin, in his hair, whatever or wherever - he smells, like a bottle of chemicals.
You don't have to be scent sensitive, although I am, to be annoyed with the amount of whatever he sprays on himself, his armpits, his skin, and his hair! There are other people in the gym who commiserate with me regarding Hairspray Man.

Sidekick says he stands in front the Men's Locker Room sink and mirrors to groom himself, 
before he trains. 
Apparently he opens up a bag full of sprays for his pits, skin & hair.

Do I smell?
Yesterday, I ran 13miles on the treadmill. The day was a pure endurance day. No speed. At a 9minute mile pace, I ran for about 2hours. So, what kind of core work do you do for an endurance day?
Planks, of course. 
There I was, started out in the prone plank position, then right side, back to prone, then left side - and repeat. It's not easy holding those positions for 8minutes straight.
About four minutes in, there was a smell. 
It got me in the throat. 
I started to feel as if I were getting sick - my throat started to get scratchy and tight. I started to cough. I was holding a side plank, with my left arm. "Hmm, " I thought, "is this guy next to me wearing some kinda' spray?" Minute five, holding plank in prone position - smell starts to seem stronger. I am coughing gagging! Minute six, turn to hold the plank on my right side, facing left.
Oh, God!
It's him!
I should have known.
Right next to me.
It's Hairspray Man!
That distinct very chemical/perfumey smell.
Aaaaagh, it drives me crazy!
Doesn't he realize?
He is increasing his, mine & other's exposures to phthalates (pronounced Thal-ates). Phthalates are found in cleaners, personal care products, cosmetics, perfumes, fragrances - even toys and pacifiers - yeah, that cute baby product smell, that helps make plastics softer ...phthalates! 
Thank you EPA!
Way to keep consumers healthy!
Even though the quantities we are exposed to are small, they have been shown (i.e., lab results) to be harmful - so don't hide behind that argument!
But no big deal, right? So, he smells like a walking perfume factory. 
C'mon Half-Crazed, you're being a big baby - just avoid him ...right?
This crap stinks because it's bad for you! These are hormone disrupting chemicals. Maybe I should tell him:
Hey, Macho-man, who's gotta smell good in the gym
Ya' know those chemicals you're spraying on your body? 
Yeah, well they've been linked to 
reduced testosterone levels, 
and male reproductive problems like undescended testes and deformed penises!
And if it's some kinda' synthetic musk in the mix of what you're wearing, smelly dude, just stay away, because these have been linked to lab results showing an increase in breast cancer cells.
Fact: Synthetic musks show up in 70% of newborns tested 
because they accumulate in women's breast milk!
Synthetic fragrances have also been connected to learning disorders in children, as well as kidney, liver and neurological damage!
And who cares how you smell? You're in a freakin' gym. Everyone is sweaty, gross 'n smelly. 
Some peeps can really pull off the sweaty look, huh?
Granted - Hairspray Man could never pull off the above ultra-cool, sweaty look, but anything is better than the pig-pen cloud of chemicals!
What? Hazards lurk in my little cloud of chemicals?
Well, I feel compelled to say something - for his health, and the health of those who train around him. It's better than waving my hand in front of my nose, and making the awful snotty faces that I feel compelled to make.
It's just that I am so not good at being diplomatic. 
I don't need diplomatic - I find it condescending, at times. Just cut to the chase - tell me the problem - and give me some suggestions on how to move forward. 
Well, if you have any suggestions on how to (or not to) handle this one, 
let me know.
I'm all ears ...
...but no nose.
Train Smart Today!
Want to learn more about safe skin care products?
Go here: EWG's Skin Deep
Post a Comment